Skin Confidence | Lifestyle

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If there's one thing that has made me feel self-conscious throughout a huge part of my life, it definitely has to be my skin.

I know what a lot of people will think right now - every teenager has to deal with some sort of skin troubles, that's nothing one should get worked up about.
That's true, I'm not trying to deny it - it's just that I was a walking, talking, outstanding case of acne. Imagine all the spots that bother you on a daily basis, multiply that by twenty and place them all over an eleven year old's face.

Can you imagine the wonders that condition worked for my confidence?

Amongst all the treatments I decided to undergo - most of which either did nothing at all, or worse, made me look even more like one huge impersonated pimple - I started wearing make up pretty early on.
Really, if I had had the choice, I would not have applied thick layers of concealer to my face at such a young age - but I felt so damn ugly. I was called "spot-face", "unhygienic", the list goes on. I just wanted to look like my friends, who had clear skin that showed no sign of redness whatsoever at that time - because how many eleven year olds experience hormonal breakouts?
The make up part, as you'll see, would become an even bigger problem in the future.

It took me some years to get a grip on how to deal with my skin, but by the time I finally did, I was fourteen and my self-worth pretty much non-exsitent.
Teenagers are insanely confused and self-conscious anyways, but conditions like acne make you feel even worse. It keeps nagging at you, even after it's gone, and it takes a lot of time for you to feel comfortable in your own skin again.

I'm still a teen as I'm typing this - I'm only seventeen. I'd like to say that I've grown a lot over the past six years, and while I definitely made some progress, I still have a long way to go.

I've gotten so used to covering up my face and its flaws every single morning over the past few years that wearing make up feels more natural to me than not wearing it in a way.
I mean, I'm comfortable to be bare-faced around my family and my close friends, who I know couldn't care less about my spotty, red chin - but besides that?
Last week I thought about the last time I went to school without wearing any make up. I seriously couldn't remember it, A huge part of my year must have never seen what I look like under all of these products. And that thought made me really sad.

So I made a decision. I went bare-faced on Friday. Alright, I'm making this sound like I did something really heroic, but to me, it somewhat was.
And the thing was, I felt so good in my own skin - my actual skin - when I left the house. I forgot about all those little voices in my head for a while.
I was scared of people's reactions, I was afraid of what they'd think - and the reactions were very mixed.
What made me really happy is that out of everyone I know, nobody dropped any shady comments like "Oh, you look so dead today!" or "Wow, you look really ill!", they were all very sweet about it.

It was the strangers on the streets that got to me.
I had several groups of girls - most of which were younger than me - give me weird looks, mutter about me as they walked past, or even point their fingers. And that's what made me really angry and inspired this post.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having spots, blemishes, redness and scars grace your face. We all have to deal with them at some point in our lives, so why shame others for their struggles when they put themselves down enough already?
I was told to "put on some make up to cover all that mess", but why would I? Definitely not to please anyone. If I do wear make up, it's because I want to wear it for me.

So screw those people.
I'm obviously still not completely comfortable with/confident in my skin, but I'm going to try and work towards that. Not to please other people, but for myself.

My skin is part of who I am, with all its redness and scars. I'm the one who wakes up with every morning, so I should be the first one to make peace with it. And I'm working towards that.

I'm working towards being able to tell my reflection in the mirror that I'm beautiful, mess or not.
Because what does any skin condition have to do with beauty?

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