I'm one of those people who use their shower time to have long, hard thinks about their life - I'm pretty sure you've done this before, right?
And during one of those long, hard thinks I came to a sudden realisation that I didn't know how I felt about - I'm not a person for relationships.
Now, just looking at that sentence, you might just think that I'm an anti-social person who doesn't like any form of human interaction, but that's really not true.
There's so much more than that to that statement.
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First off, I actually am an introvert.
I'm not even going to deny it - while I've always had a few very good friends, I've never been much of a social butterfly. I'm timid when I meet people for the first time, I often think too much before opening my mouth and social interactions often leave me feeling exhausted.
But it's not just based on the social part of things because clearly, I can form close bonds with people I vibe really well with.
It's also that I feel like I'm too busy at the moment - when I hardly have any time to sleep, how am I going to make time for someone else in my life?
It sounds pretty sad, I know. But when someone does mean a lot to me, I want to devote a lot of quality time to them and not just be like "yeah, I kind of can't see you right now because I'm crying over my studies".
In saying that I'm not a relationship person, I don't mean that I'm not able to love anyone. I actually love very fiercely, which the story of my first love shows.
I mean that I'm alright with being on my own, and that I don't want a relationship simply to have someone who can tell me how wonderful I am, because I've come to a point where I'm able to love myself.
I mean that it's probably a good idea for me to spend my spare time working on myself, on my problems and the things that are nagging at me rather than spend my time with another person and carry all of my bagage into what could be a great relationship.
I mean that I'm not someone who "dates" like a lot of girls my age do - one boyfriend for each month. I'm way to emotional and sensitive for that. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of being hurt.
I don't really know where I'm going with this entire rant, but I do know that I needed to write this down to get it out of my system because I've been thinking about it a lot.
I'm still very young, and I've got plenty of time to figure the mess inside my head out and meet someone who can fill the grey areas of my life, but in a society where you're frowned upon if you don't have a boyfriend at the age of seventeen or eighteen, you do sometimes start to have long, hard thinks about these kinds of things.
How do you feel about this topic? Are you alright with being on your own or do you feel like something's missing when you don't have a significant other? Please let me know in the comments!
I'm not even going to deny it - while I've always had a few very good friends, I've never been much of a social butterfly. I'm timid when I meet people for the first time, I often think too much before opening my mouth and social interactions often leave me feeling exhausted.
But it's not just based on the social part of things because clearly, I can form close bonds with people I vibe really well with.
It's also that I feel like I'm too busy at the moment - when I hardly have any time to sleep, how am I going to make time for someone else in my life?
It sounds pretty sad, I know. But when someone does mean a lot to me, I want to devote a lot of quality time to them and not just be like "yeah, I kind of can't see you right now because I'm crying over my studies".
In saying that I'm not a relationship person, I don't mean that I'm not able to love anyone. I actually love very fiercely, which the story of my first love shows.
I mean that I'm alright with being on my own, and that I don't want a relationship simply to have someone who can tell me how wonderful I am, because I've come to a point where I'm able to love myself.
I mean that it's probably a good idea for me to spend my spare time working on myself, on my problems and the things that are nagging at me rather than spend my time with another person and carry all of my bagage into what could be a great relationship.
I mean that I'm not someone who "dates" like a lot of girls my age do - one boyfriend for each month. I'm way to emotional and sensitive for that. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of being hurt.
I don't really know where I'm going with this entire rant, but I do know that I needed to write this down to get it out of my system because I've been thinking about it a lot.
I'm still very young, and I've got plenty of time to figure the mess inside my head out and meet someone who can fill the grey areas of my life, but in a society where you're frowned upon if you don't have a boyfriend at the age of seventeen or eighteen, you do sometimes start to have long, hard thinks about these kinds of things.
How do you feel about this topic? Are you alright with being on your own or do you feel like something's missing when you don't have a significant other? Please let me know in the comments!
This is a great post. Yes, I tend to take my shower time to think as well, most of the time I just try to think and make sure the choices I made that day are okay.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on wanting to work on yourself first before deciding to be in a relationship, more people should be this way.
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Thank you, it's great to know someone thinks I'm not being weird for doing what I'm doing. :) x
DeleteYes! Good for you! I definitely think its healthier to be more secure with yourself before getting someone else so involved in your stuff. I can't see myself dating or anything for a while either, the kinds of things I want to do, I can't see that I'd have much time for someone else! :)
ReplyDeleteExactly! I'm a hot mess and a handful myself, so I'd rather work out my life than messing up someone else's right now.
DeleteGood to know I'm not the only one! (: x
I like this post. I'm an introvert as well but I actually do want a relationship, I just have high standards. I consider myself a dating veteran cause I've dated someone much. I can be alone (in have been for years) but I like being with someone special. It's just incredibly hard to find due to online dating and people's bad etiquette. I do admit, I am hard to keep though. I know my worth.
ReplyDeleteI spent the last year of my life (almost) being sad over a lost relationship, and trying to find someone else who would love me until, like you, I was in the bath and realised...I don't think I even want a relationship right now. I got into my king size bed after my bath, lay slap bang in the middle of it and finally had my first good nights sleep in forever!
ReplyDeleteLu xx