Hi there!
Quite a few people on twitter have asked me to do a blog post on something about my every day life, and being surrounded by a bunch of pricks, I got a pretty good idea for one.
I'm someone who is always trying to be as positive as possible about their own body - sure, I'm not stick thin or as fit as I'd like to be - even though, until I quit both rhythmic gymnastics and rope skipping in summer, I've been playing them since sixth grade.
No, I'm a size 8/10 (UK sizes) / size 4/6 (US sizes).
And the fact that those sizes are frowned upon seriously disgusts me.
Going to a school where there are very few bigger girls and a whole bunch of girls whose legs are practically nothing but skin attached to bone - and this in no way supposed to be shaming, they literally are just that thin -, I've been called a whole bunch of names, starting in fifth grade.
Fifth grade. Just let that sink in.
How old were you when you were in fifth grade?
In Germany, kid's are 10 or 11 at that point.
10 and 11 year old kids who bully others just because their thighs are bigger, their stomach isn't flat, their face is a bit rounder.
I know what some people are going to answer to that statement.
"Kids are mean, that's just what they do."
No.
I was no longer a kid when I decided to eat healthier last January, mainly because people told me to.
Well, in the beginning it was just about eating healthier.
Then, I started looking up calories whenever I wanted to eat something that wasn't fruit or veggies.
Then I started writing down every single thing that I ate, including the calories those foods had, added up all the calories I had eaten in a day, just to get rid of as many of them as possible by working out.
I obsessed over that.
It took me months to realize that what I had been doing wasn't helping my body, it was making me feel even worse than I had before.
Looking back at that a year later, it scares me.
It scares me that so many people believe the things that some dumbass tells them and act drastically, just because they want to look aesthetically pleasing to the people around them.
It scares me because there are millions of kids growing up in this society that tells them that it if they're not a size 2, no one cares about them, they are never going to achive anything looking like that, that they are worthless.
What scares me even more is that children, naive as they are, believe all those things.
This turned into one big messy ramble, but here's the point I'm trying to get across;
As cheesy as it sounds, you are not a number.
You aren't any different than the models in magazines just because you weigh more than them, and you really aren't a worse person because of that.
It is okay to eat sweets, don't mock yourself for having some chocolate after dinner, you deserve it.
There are a lot of people who are pricks about other people's apperiances, and there will always be someone who won't like something about the way you look.
You could be the juciest, ripest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.
I know I can't burn anything I just spilled all over your screen into your head (if you've even read this far) , and I know that once something like a horrible opinion about your own body settles into your mind, it's very hard to get rid off.
Even if you've gotten absolutely nothing out of this post and you're currently wondering why you're still reading this, I want you to set one small goal for yourself this year - think about the people who tell you shit about your body, and cut them out of your life, because you deserve so so much better than them.
Thank you so much for reading, and I'll be back with a less heated topic soon!
Franzi x