A Letter to The First Boy I Loved

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I don't really know how to start this. "Hi you, how are you doing?" seems to be way too much small talk when someone means as much as you did. Still do, even when it has been so long since I've last seen you, let alone talked to you.

I feel like I've known you all my life.
I know that isn't true and that there has been a time when you weren't part of my life, but if I'm honest I cannot remember it. I've known you for a decade, for all it's worth.

I often reminisce about the first memories I have of you, when we were still so young. I like them because they aren't filled with self loathing and what-ifs like like so many others are.

Truth is, I have loved you for years and never said a word.
And why would I have? You were my best friend and I was afraid, terrified that if I showed you how I felt, you would've never talked to me again. Now we're back to the endless list of what-ifs I keep in my head, huh?

I don't think I've ever truly stopped loving you, not for a day. I know that I've seen other people because I settled for the fact that you'll never know what I feel because I was just so damn scared, even if you had any feelings for me at all. But even when I was with them, my heart was in my throat the second I saw you. You still captured my attention in the same way you've always done.

It isn't fair to all the other people I've seen and will see throughout my life, but I will always compare them to you.
I will measure how their humor lives up to yours, if they make me laugh as loudly and ugly as you managed to do. I will measure the way they look out for me to how you did, how you always noticed when I need you without me saying a word, how you always made sure I got home safe, no matter how inconvenient it was for you.

I feel like I'm being unfair towards you as well because I'm spilling the beans now - even if you'll probably never see this, because how on God's green Earth would you know about my blog? - and I'm just hurling all of this at you like it's your fault.

Nothing about this is. It's not your fault that you're living your life because you're a grown adult and have every right to do so - and I want you to be happy. I truly, truly do.

It's not your fault you went and joined the military. You clearly didn't have to ask for my permission, and yet I still felt deceived because it appeared so easy for you to move on and live while I was stuck in this damn town without any way out.

That didn't stop me from worrying about you. I thought about you nearly every day, even though we hadn't spoken for a long time then. I don't know what would've become of me if anything happened to you.

And now you're back, and I still hardly see you. I think the last time I saw you was months ago, which seems so strange when we used to see each other almost every single day.

I still look for you in crowds, I guess I always will. I thought I'd moved on, but reading through this letter made me realize that I clearly haven't.

It must be true what they say then. That you never truly get over the first person you love. That they'll always have a piece of your heart.
You do. You're imprinted on my heart. I've never stopped dreaming of you, my dreams painting the brightest, most vivid image of you.

I'm sorry I'm such a soppy mess, when really, all you ever wanted to do was make me happy.
And you did. Thank you. For everything you've ever done.
Still, I can't help but wonder what would've become of us if we ever could've had one last dance.

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A Skin Care Range For Problematic Skin

I make no secret of the fact that my skin and its condition are far from great - it's blemish prone (and even that is an understatement for someone who has dealt with acne on and off for over six years), sensitive and has allergic reactions to a lot of products and other influences. Sweet.

Because of how problematic my skin is, it's always been really hard for me to find brands that do skin care products I can work with without making my head look like an ultra red, blown up ballon - while ranges courtesy of the likes of Clearasil and even Nivea worked fine for my friends, they didn't at all for me.

Well, bless my Mom - she randomly stumbled upon a skin care range called "NO for problematic skin" by a brand called VK while browsing Amazon.

Now, I had never heard of said brand before, but in a really desperate hour of hating my skin and wanting to just scrape it all off, I decided to just give it a go as the reviews were really promising.

I purchased their cleanser as well as the cream that goes with it. The brand claims both of the products to disinfect highly inflammable skin that suffers from acne.

Both of the products have a very light and pleasant smell of raspberry to them, which I found very nice as all acne products I've tried over the years really stank, if I'm being honest here.

Now, I use the cleanser both in the morning after I get up and at night before I go to sleep.

As I have pretty dry skin in all areas of my face but my T-Zone to begin with, I found this one to dry out my skin a little, which must be due to the fact that one of its ingredients is salicylic acid, which helps the skin rid itself of dead skin cells.
What I love about this is that, while it can be a little drying, it never gives my face the burning sensation every other face wash I have tried left me with.


As for the cream, I only apply a pea sized amount of it to any area that shows blemishes or big red patches before going to sleep.

Much like most products that include strong ingredients, it sometimes causes my skin to sting for a few moments right after application, especially if I apply it open wounds.
I've used this for just over three weeks now and I feel like it not only makes my skin feel a lot smoother and my pores appear smaller, it also helps blemishes to regress in size - it even works on bigger ones as well! After three days, most blemishes will have become very small and almost not noticeable at all.


Overall, I would wholeheartedly recommend this skincare range to anyone who struggles with problematic skin.

For one, I have never experienced any allergic reactions to the products, which is quite a big deal when you're pretty much allergic to 80% of all ingredients used in beauty products.

On the other hand, these products have helped improve my complexion a lot when everything else failed me. I often use a product and it works fine for a certain amount of time, until it suddenly appears to lose all of its affect on my skin. Not with these - they still do a great job after three weeks of usage.

The only downside to this range is that it's not really low-end - the cleanser is available for 13€ on Amazon, the cream for 23€. 
However, you do achieve great results with these, so I would rather invest a little more money into better quality products rather than buying cheaper ones that might make my complexion look even worse.


Do you have a holy grail skin care product or skin care range? If you do, please let me know in the comments, I'd love to check it out!

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One Year Blogiversary Giveaway!

Exciting news -  FRANZIZZY recently turned one!

Well, not so recently, really. I actually started my blog on the 8th of January in 2015, but I hardly ever had the time to blog properly back then and only really started investing a lot of time into my little corner on the internet towards the end of April and beginning of May, so it technically still counts, right?

I was quite anxious about how people would react to the things I wrote about at the beginning, but I feel like I have become so much more confident during the last year and don't fret to touch base on controversial, touchy topics such as politics or feminism nowadays - because that's me as well, passionate about all kinds of things, not only beauty and fashion!

I've also met some of the most amazing people through starting this blog, be it blogger friends who have always been so supportive and never hesitated to help me out with any problems, or my awesome readers who always make me smile with their sweet comments. You guys are the bomb.

And because everyone has been so great to me, I wanted to be able to give something back for all the love I've received, so I decided it was time to host a giveaway to celebrate this anniversary!

When I asked you guys on Twitter what you'd like to be included in this giveaway, most of you chose a mix of beauty products and stationary, so this is what I opted for!

I wish I could've included more, but I'm sadly a broke student who struggles to pay her bills with two different jobs, so I just couldn't afford more stuff plus the horrendous shipping costs this time - the next one will definitely be bigger though!

Because we're moving closer and closer to summer, my favorite season of all, all of these items have somewhat of an ice cream theme to them - and here's what you can win:

- Tiger A5 Sprinkles Notebook
- 2 Tiger Ice Cream Postcards

- P2  Volume Glass Gel Polish in "280 Pony Farmer"
- Trend IT UP Ultra Matte Lipcream in "45"

I'm completely obsessed with Tiger's stationary and their current collection includes so many ice cream themed pieces that I just couldn't pass up!
P2 and Trend IT UP are two Germany beauty brands that produces very great quality products for affordable prices - I picked two of my favorites out for you.

Conditions:
- The giveaway is open Europe wide.
- It ends at 12pm on the 1st of June.
- I will contact the winner via email. You will have 72 hours to respond - if you fail to do so, I will have to pick a new winner.
- If you are under the age of 16, you will need the permission of your parents to give me your address.
- I cannot in any way be hold responsible for additional fees that may occur during customs or in case the parcel gets lost.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Good luck to all of you!

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Recent Reads #9 | The Art of Being Normal

I have come to the realisation that I might have a soft spot for coming-of-age stories. A very big soft spot. I refuse to call it an obsession because I like to keep up the illusion that I can control myself at least a bit.

Keeping that in mind, you can imagine that I was thrilled when I saw that Lisa Williamson's "The Art of Being Normal" was our first read for The Girl Gang Book Club on Goodreads - I'm very active over there, so feel free to send me a friend request!

I went into this read knowing nothing about the book other than the fact that it's a coming-of-age story and that one of its main characters was transgender, but that had me sold on it right away because for me, it was the first time I saw a transgender character in the spotlight of a novel.
I had great expectations for this, but were they all met?

"The Art of Being Normal" is told from two teenagers' points of view, David Piper and Leo Denton, both outcasts in their own way.

David has always known that he's different than the other kids - he wants to be a girl. He's way too timid and nervous to tell anyone but his two best friends about how he feels, but the other kids at school still sense that there's something different about him and because of that, they call him "Freak Show" and bully him.

Leo appears to be the complete opposite of David. He's the rough, dark and somewhat mysterious guy that transfers to David's school at the beginning of the new year - no one knows for certain why he transfered, but there's a lot of fantastic stories surrounding him.

The two of them meet for the first time when David is being bullied in front of the entire school in the cafeteria and Leo sticks up for him, punching one of the bullies right into the face.
In the detention that follows this event, the two boys get to know each other better, and even though Leo doesn't seem to be interested in any form of social contact, he even goes as far as helping out David, who struggles with Maths a lot - over the course of a week, they become somewhat close to friends.

But both of them have things that are eating at them that put their still fresh bond to the test - David cannot bear to tell his parents, or anyone else, for that matter, about how he feels and it claws at him from the inside, while Leo hides the haunting secret of his past that brought him to David's school in the first place - sooner or later, it will be revealed. But how will Leo cope with that?

I really enjoyed this book's plot, which is why I tried to spoil as little as possible about it in my summary - it might seem predictable at first glance, but there were so many turns and twists that I didn't seem coming which kept the book a good read for the entire ride.

The characters, however, were really driving force of this novel.
If you've read any other installment in my "Recent Reads" series, you'll know that I'm a sucker for character development - and there definitely was a lot to be had in this babe.

Obviously David changes a lot as a person throughout the book as he learns how to accept who he is and even gets confident enough to start dressing as a girl, which made me feel like a proud mother and want to give him the biggest hug.
But Leo was on a whole other level regarding the character development - while he doesn't want to talk to, let alone befriend anyone at his new school, he starts to slowly open up to David and grows so close to him throughout their journey that he trusts him with his biggest secret. But it's not that Leo learns how to trust people again, he also learns who to love himself more, how to stop beating himself up and that there is a future for him to live and work for. I was cheering him on from the sidelines the entire time, and it was so heartwarming.

Seeing the relationship between these two develop was the most precious thing ever.

Most importantly, though, I feel like Lisa Williamson's portrayl of transgender characters was so satisfying - in most pieces of pop culture, they're still displayed in a negative light most of the time and used as a target to get some good gags running.
But not in "The Art of Being Normal". Williamson's characters are raw and real, they're relatable and they explain in depth how they feel and how they work with it to become the person they want to be - in my eyes, it's a valuable clarification for all the people who struggle to understand what being transgender means for those affected, or even worse, those who put them down for who they are.

Overall, I think it's pretty clear that I absolutely loved this book.
It deals with an important topic that still isn't talked about nearly enough in the media, and it gives it's readers a better understanding about this topic in a way that is easy to understand and to emphasize with - with a good plot and outstanding characters who make it the great piece of work that it is.

If you're interested in finding out about everything there is to this story yourself, "The Art of Being Normal" is available on Amazon for 10.45€.

Have you read any books that knocked your socks off? If you have, please let me know in the comments - I'm always on the hunt for a good read!

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Why I Am A Feminist | Lifestyle

I'm a very passionate person. If I'm convinced of an idea, a concept or a value, I will stick to it and, what is even more important, stick up for it.

That doesn't mean that I hate everyone who doesn't agree with me or who has a different view on life, not at all actually - I won't yell at you over whether you pour milk or tea into your cup first. You do you, everyone does it differently.

But when it comes to important topics that affect my and a lot of other people's every day life, I have no tolerance for people who talk trash.

There are different topics this could refer to, and I bet you can think of some cases where yourself got so frustrated about a fellow human's mindset you felt like crying, but I'm referring to some very interesting views on women's rights I was confronted with this week.

Me being me, I could not keep my mouth shut when faced with such satetments, which lead to a heated debate that still makes me want to shake my head. That is what inspired this post, and you're about to find out what the hell I'm going on about.

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We were discussing Kesha's court case - in case you didn't know, she took her producer to court for sexual abuse, not even wanting him to go to jail, just to get out of her contract with him - and whether we think she's acting sincerely or just pulling a publicity stunt.

One of the boys in my class actually had the guts to suggest that "she kept quiet about the rape for over ten years because she didn't mind what he did to her, maybe she even enjoyed it". At that,  my jaw dropped. I didn't believe my ears, I didn't want to.

But as much as it shocked me, that experience reminded me of why I need feminism, why I am a feminist myself.
I'm a feminist because I cannot bear to listen to people preaching "She was asking for it!" anymore, I cannot take another person defending a rapist and blaming the victim for being too provocative, naive or careless.
I don't want women to be considered inferior, because we're not. We're equal to men. We have the same rights, the same abilities, but in a lot of people's minds we don't.

And that's the crucial point in this entire debate.
I'm not a feminist because I think of women as the superior species and want them to run over the world's men, which a lot of people believe feminism is about - I support the idea of equality, it's as simple as that.
I'm fighting for a world and society in which we stop victim blaming and shaming and taking the offenders under our wings, and start focusing on sorting out what really is wrong.

I'm doing this because I want to live in a world where I, and everyone else, for that matter, can feel like, if I ever get into such a horrible situation, I will get justice, not stones thrown at me.
For all of my female friends, my future daughter and all the women out there, because I want them to be treated in a fair manner, not one that makes them feel bad about themselves, that makes them feel unworthy and useless.

So no, I will not keep my mouth shut about this, no matter how often people will tut or shake their heads at me or call me all kinds of nasty words I don't even want to get into.
I will never do that until some fundamental changes are done, because I do not want to continue living in a society like this.


I know that this is a very heated topic, so I'd love for you to let me know how you feel about this in the comments!

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