My Love/Hate Relationship with 13 Reasons Why

Trigger warnings for this post: sexual assault and suicide.

In case you missed it - if you did, how? - "13 Reasons Why" has been all over the internet for the past few weeks. Everyone and their mother (and probably the family dog) has watched it and is discussing it on social media as well as in real life so naturally, I wanted to see what all that talk was about.

The eponymous book was a mandatory read for my class in 8th grade, so I already knew the outline of the story. In case you don't, let me enlighten you:

"13 Reasons Why" starts off with Clay Jensen, a junior in high school, receiving a box which contains audiotapes. When he inserts them into a cassette recorder, his life changes forever. What's on these tapes isn't music, it's Hannah Baker's voice. Hannah Baker was a friend of Clay's - was, because Hannah committed suicide after she had recorded the tapes in the box. On these tapes, she explains the reasons why she ended her life, all of which are connected to certain people who were once part of it - 13 in total. All of these people are to receive the box containing the tapes in a certain order, or else the tapes will be published - which would be fatal for people mentioned on them.

Now, moving on to my actual thoughts on the show, which will include spoilers - so beware.

I do, in all honesty, not know how I should feel about "13 Reasons Why". It had been a long time since I read the book so my memory about the story was vague, but I remembered that I enjoyed reading it and that it had a big impact on myself and my classmates.

Watching the show reminded me why I liked the idea of this story so much.

"13 Reasons Why" brings up a topic that the majority of us like to push away, thoughts we like to suppress and conversations we like to avoid. Too little people talk about mental health and suicide, and too little people are making an effort reaching out and working to help people who are affected by those issues.

This show has got everybody talking. I feel like next to every single person at my school has watched it and has been talking about it. Heck, I've even talked about this with my parents. Raising awareness about mental health and how your actions can affect others is something that is very close to my heart, so I'm glad that this show has touch people enough to make them think about the topic.

However, the fact that raising awereness about mental health is very important to me is also why I cannot fully join the hype around this TV show.

Yes, it is important to speak about mental health and to raise awareness, but there is always a fine line between carefully acquainting somebody with the topic and overdoing - and sadly, "13 Reasons Why" crosses this line more than once.

The show includes rather graphic scenes - there's both a scene from the point of view of someone being raped as well as someone witnessing rape, and the scene of Hannah's suicide is really, really graphic. To some, these scenes might of course be shocking, they might even hold their hands in front of their face because they cannot bear to watch them; but to people who have experienced similar situations, these scenes can be incredibly triggering, leading to panic or anxiety attacks or relapses.

I myself have never been in such a horrible situation, but even I felt incredibly affected in my mental health while watching some of the episodes, so people who are dealing with forms of anxiety might also not feel completely comfortable while watching.

What's also been nagging at me is the way that Hannah is portrayed. Hannah definitely had mental health issues, it's likely that she was depressed, but while watching the show, the viewer gets the impression that Hannah is only one thing - a big old drama queen. Clay even tells her so at one point.

What's problematic about this is that people who are struggling with mental health issues are not drama queens, they are not overreacting or the like, they genuinely feel like this, these are the thoughts inside of their head, and they are often complicated. 

I really, really dislike the portrayal of mental health in this show. It sucks, because I didn't feel about it so strongly in the book (as far as I can recall, at least), and the idea behind this show is great because it raises people's awareness and should remind them to try their best to not be an asshole to the people they meet, but the execution is flawed.

In my honest opinion, I sadly feel like the portrayal of issues like mental health and suicide in "13 Reasons Why" is just as likely to add to the stigma surrounding them as it is to get people's attention and awareness, and that is definitely not something such a difficult but important format should aim for.

Have you watched "13 Reasons Why"? If so, please share your opinions and feelings with me in a comment - I'm really interested in reading what you think about the show!